She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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