you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your penis caused this!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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