I forgot how hot balto sounded
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
