i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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