Please, let me fuck your mom
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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