at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
operation have a gay friend backfired
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
