The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize