He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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