He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
its liver damage thursday
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
