Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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