it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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