How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
