Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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