First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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