so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
