So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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