it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
