There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
