you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
