Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize