So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize