Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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