my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The beer is more important than you right now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
