You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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