and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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