i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
