I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
