then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
