Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I love you. Go after that dick
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
