fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
