I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
