All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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