i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize