please come you make the beer taste better
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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