try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
