I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
