even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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