just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you had me at cake vodka
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
