Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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