So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the day after is always just damage control
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I did not marry a roomba.
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