It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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