I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
