...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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