Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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