I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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