so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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