The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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