let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
