She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
