do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
