he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
