I wish I only lived at night.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
