I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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