And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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