So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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