Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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