I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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