Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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