she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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